Glee: The Commercials
by ladidai
Summary: A few of the characters of Glee in some of my favorite commercials. First up, Rachel and Nike. Second, Mike, Brittany, and McDonald's
1. What is Love?

A/N: This was inspired by the Nike commercial for Michael Jordan which can be found on YouTube, it's the first result when you search for "nike what is love" Also, only the 240p version has sound for some reason. And by inspired, I mean I pretty much copied it frame by frame.

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee, just playing with it. Twice. Maybe more?

* * *

"How long is this shit?"

"It says it's four and a half minutes long"

"The fuck Artie? Who wants to listen to someone talk about Broadway for that long?"

"Hey bitches shut up, it finished loading."

The former members of New Directions, minus Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson, turned to look at the HDTV in Artie's basement.

"Here goes."

The screen was black.

Words faded in.

"Love Supreme

A Broadway Love Story"

The words faded out.

Drums started to play.

New words took their place.

They heard Rachel read the words, "What is love?"

Video of Rachel on a Broadway stage faded in as the words vanished.

Happy flutes came in.

Her best performances.

Her biggest solos.

Her brightest moments.

"Love is waiting tables."

Home video of Rachel in a restaurant waiting tables, smiling for the camera then shooing it away.

The drums sounded angrier.

Rachel on Broadway again.

Her saddest scenes.

Crying, shouting, and yelling.

"Love is taking the stages less seen."

Rachel on Off-Off-Broadway, looking unpolished but full of potential.

A string section entered sounding anxious. A piano sounded ominous.

"Love is seeing a new show every week."

Home video of a smiling Rachel with dozens and dozens of Playbills, programmes, and tickets spread out on a table.

Rachel back on Broadway with her chin up and mouth open, singing without a sound.

"Love is the final note."

Flashes of the final songs from each of Rachel's shows.

Rachel during her award speech at the Tony Awards.

"Love is your first."

A montage of Rachel's three Tony award winning performances spliced with her acceptance speeches.

"Love is your third."

The music faded out, only a slow drumming remained.

Rachel at a press conference.

"When I lose the sense of motivation and the need to prove myself as an actor, I believe it is time for me to step away from the stage."

Sad violins sounded a melancholy note.

Fade to a soundless black.

Home video of Rachel moping around a luxurious Manhattan condo filled with random art projects: paintings, clay, photographs.

"Love is realizing when not to quit your day job."

Rachel in dark sunglasses and a hat entering the rear entrance of a stage surrounded by fans and cameras.

Scenes from her first Broadway show after her retirement. She stumbled. Her blocking was wrong. She looked out of place.

"Love is silencing your critics."

Video of a more confident and vibrant Rachel on stage.

Home video of that same Rachel nearly collapsing as she reached backstage.

"Love is performing on nothing except heart."

The home video continued with Rachel standing up and going back out on stage.

Another montage, this time of Rachel's fourth and fifth Tony Award winning performances and her acceptance speeches.

Rachel backstage with her eyes closed and a serious look. The curtain and her eyes open, she slowly walks towards front and center with a bright smile.

"What is love? Love is performing every play as if it is your last."

Fade to black.

"Holy shit that was good. Let's go see a musical!"

"I thought you didn't want to hear someone talk about Broadway for four minutes?"

"You're not too old to go in a dumpster."

* * *

A/N 2: At least one more chapter to come.


	2. The Showdown

A/N: This chapter was inspired by the McDonald's commercial with Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. It's on YouTube. This time I really mean inspired.

No real spoilers to speak of. Set at any time in the second half of S2 after Kurt finally makes his way back to New Directions. He will do that right? Right?

* * *

It was days like this that Mike really missed Matt.

No, not like that.

He missed Matt because he was tired of teaching all the New Directions guys the choreography by himself.

The first few times with a new song wasn't bad because they mostly worked on the vocal arrangement. Mike knew he didn't have the best voice so he was happy to just sing in the background. Plus, it was funny watching everyone else fight for solos.

The problem came when they moved on to the dancing.

Usually it wasn't so bad since they mostly did group numbers, but for the boys vs. girls competition it was all him. For any number that had the guys and girls in two groups for most of the time, it was all him. The "Umbrella/Singing in the Rain" number was awful. He spent hours teaching the guys the steps and of course Rachel had demanded that the water be turned on so practice would be like a real performance. That resulted in him getting a horrible cold from all that time in the cold water.

Mike looked jealously at the other side of the room.

Brittany had it so good. She taught the girls of New Directions the choreography which wasn't hard at all. She, Santana and Quinn were Cheerios and Rachel had been practicing for Broadway since she was a baby or something, so they picked up the choreography like they were picking up a sheet of paper. Tina danced really well so she had no problem either. Only Mercedes gave her some problems, but Rachel hounded her until she got it right. The girls were usually done halfway through rehearsal.

Mike looked back on the guys' side of the room.

It wasn't all bad. Kurt was a quick study but he never bothered to help teach the other guys. He usually went off to gossip with Mercedes and Tina about clothes or movies or guys or whatever girls gossiped about. Artie usually didn't have too much to do since he was off to the side or rolling around in circles. Puck was surprisingly good at dancing. Mike just needed to show him the steps a few times and he would usually have it down. Like Kurt, he never helped with the other guys either. Puck usually spent time switching from flirting with Santana or distracting Finn and Sam by throwing stuff at them.

Finn.

Finn had two left feet.

Mike couldn't believe it when he joined Glee. Finn was so clumsy, awkward and his footwork was terrible. It took him forever to learn the most basic choreography. How could this guy be the star quarterback? No wonder their football team sucked. Finn was tripping over his own feet half the time on the field and the other half his footwork was so bad he couldn't throw the ball properly. It was a good thing he was the soloist most of the time, that way he could just stand in front of everyone and sing. Or do that weird circle thing with Rachel. Whatever, he couldn't mess up either one of those.

Sam.

Sam had a left foot and a right foot. His footwork was better than Finn's, which was probably why he was a better quarterback. It sucked that he got hurt. But, that boy had the dorkiest dance moves on the planet. He was like a white version of Carlton. What the hell was he doing pointing during their performance of "Stop! In the Name of Love / Free Your Mind?" Or throwing up gang signs at the wedding during "Marry You?" Mike didn't put that shit in there. No one in their right minds pointed randomly in the middle of a performance. And he was always so busy coming up with his dorky shit that he forgot the actual choreography.

Mike looked over at Mr. Schuester at the piano. Mr. Schuester was supposed to be helping the guys because he knew the choreography gave them more trouble than it did the girls, but just like every other time before Rachel had dragged him away to discuss a set list, an arrangement, the solo, the choreography, or God knows what. So, Mike was on his own, as usual.

"No, Finn your left foot goes first."

"What?" Finn looked down, "Oh right. Thanks, Mike!"

"Finn, your other left foot."

Finn looked down again, "Oh, yea. I got it. Thanks, dude!"

"Sam, just do the steps like I taught you. Stop adding things."

"But wouldn't it be cool if I did this?" Sam did some awkward looking spin move that finished on his toes.

"What the hell was that? That goes with nothing the rest of us are doing. Just do the steps."

"Wait, I forgot what they were. Could you show them to me again?"

"Yea, Mike I'm getting kinda confused too."

Mike sighed and got up to show Finn and Sam the steps again. He did them slowly twice then at normal speed a third time. He walked back to the stool by the piano and sat down to watch his two students fail and fail again. He reached back blindly to grab a water bottle Mr. Schuester had put on the piano. He pulled it towards him but it wouldn't budge. The water bottle started to pull him to the right. He looked over to find Brittany pulling on it.

"Brittany, this is mine!"

"But, I'm thirsty!"

"You've already had three bottles and all you're doing is talking!"

"Talking makes me thirsty!"

"No way, I need this water for the rest of rehearsal."

Brittany had stopped pulling on the bottle but didn't let go. She smiled at Mike.

"I'll dance you for it?"

"What? You want to dance me for a bottle of water?"

Brittany nodded her head so fast and so hard that Mike could have sworn he heard the pebble she had for a brain rattling around, which was strange since the room was usually loud during practice. He looked around and saw everyone glancing at him and Brittany from the corner of their eyes, except for Rachel who kept babbling about something until she noticed Mr. Schue had stopped paying attention to her. He knew why everyone was looking. He stared every time Rachel, Kurt, and Mercedes had a diva off. He liked to see the best people compete for something and everyone knew he and Brittany were the best dancers in New Directions.

He'd want to see this too.

"First one to miss a step loses."

Brittany squealed with joy. Mike couldn't help smiling.

"Ladies first?"

"The Dougie." Was she serious? Something that simple? Mike could do that in his sleep, "On one foot." Oh. How the hell do you Dougie on one foot? Mike was glad that Brittany had to do the dance first because he had no idea how he was going to Dougie on one foot. Oh, like that. That was pretty simple to copy.

His turn, "Popping and Locking."

He pulled out some of his favorite moves which Brittany copied easily.

"Viennese Waltz!"

As Mike watched Brittany prance around the room with her arms extended taking the lead with an invisible partner he couldn't help but thank his mom's love of Dancing with the Stars for showing him how to easily copy Brittany.

"The jive."

Brittany must have been a fan too, since she easily copied him.

"The 1, 2 Step."

Mike's mind went back to the Ciara video that he watched a lot on YouTube. What? She was smoking hot. So he was able to copy Brittany with ease.

Alright time to break out a big gun.

"B-boying."

Mike pulled off a dozen moves that had everyone clapping and cheering for him and he knew that Brittany would have a hard time copying him. So, he was stunned when she pulled it off flawlessly.

"That was really fun. Uh, 'Single Ladies!'"

Mike had this one in the bag since the football team did the damn dance on the field which was the most retarded thing ever. He couldn't believe they actually won a game like that.

Okay, this was getting ridiculous, it was time to end it. He looked around for an idea and smiled as one came to mind.

"Can I borrow your fedora?" He asked the Jazz Ensemble guitarist, "Thanks. 'Smooth Criminal.'"

This was his favorite Michael Jackson dance, he'd been fooling around with it in his room ever since he saw the video for it so he knew the steps really well and he could even kind of do the anti-gravity lean without falling on his face. He threw the fedora at Brittany after he finished. He had this thing won.

She copied him like it was nothing.

"I love MJ! Let's do Thriller!" Done.

"Beat It." It was like breathing to her.

"Billie Jean." Simple.

He needed to switch it up a little, "Krumping."

She followed with ease.

Neither of them noticed when the Jazz Ensemble left nor did they see the rest of New Directions leaving the room one by one to head home. Not even Santana calling out could distract Brittany in the middle of a dance. They both missed Mr. Schue calling out to them to head home soon as they continued with their competition. The bright lights of the room masked the sun going down.

Mike was starving. He had no idea what time it was. His entire body was screaming at him to stop but Brittany was still going strong and there was no way he was going to lose.

"Dude. What the fuck? Don't tell me you two morons have been here all night."

Mike looked up to see Puck standing in the doorway of the room.

"What? What time is it?"

"Dude, it's almost fucking 8 AM. You need to get to class. Did you even study for that history test we have today?"

Mike ran to his bag to check his phone. Puck was right it was almost 8 AM. There were dozens of missed calls, unread text messages, and unheard voicemails.

Fuck.

His mom was going to kill him.

Over a bottle of water.

"Let's Dougie again!"

* * *

A/N 2: I think this will be it for this group of one-shots. I could do some ultra corny "It Gets Better" ad with Kurt and Rachel's dads but I don't have that kind of story in me.

Also, I pretty much re-watched every episode of Glee to figure out who can dance and who can't and I found it pretty funny how often Lea had to be hidden when she wasn't a soloist, luckily she has tons of well deserved solos. But, she has improved tremendously as the show has gone on. Good on her for improving herself.


End file.
